Phineas Gage was a demolition foreman for the Rutland and Burlington Railroad in the year 1847.

His job was to blow things up—specifically, that which was in the way of building a pair of railroad tracks. This could be all sorts of things. Mountainside, Felsenmeer, Stone, Boulders, and so forth.

But in those days, when you wanted to blow things up, you didn't have dynamite, because it hadn't been invented yet.

Nitroglycerine, which led to dynamite, was still about 25 years away.

So, when you needed to get rid of what was in front of you, one would drill enormously deep holes in the above mentioned, fill it with gunpowder, run a fuse, pack the remainder of the hole with sand to buffer the charge, light the fuse, and then run like hell.

This was Phineas' job... that is, until one day, he forgot to do one of these ingredients—and that's where this song comes in.

This is called The Curious Case of Phineas Gage and His Brain. Most medical students are familiar with this story. However, since I never studied medicine or psychology in college, I have Conan O'Brien and Bill Hader to thank for this story. Thank you both. I had a great time writing this.

The Curious Case of Phineas Gage and his Brain

words and music by Michael Patrick Vitale

Phineas Gage cleared the felsenmeer and stone to level the ground

He was a detonation foreman for the

Rutland and Burlington Railway, westbound

He drilled holes deep into mounds of boulders and stone and rocky terrain

Before he filled them up with gun powder, fuse, and sand to buffer the charge and keep it contained

And in all those years of such a dangerous profession

I wonder if it ever crossed his mind to exercise discretion

he’d just tamp down the goods with a rod, ingredients primed

But he forgot to buffer the charge with sand this time

Phineas

Oh Phineas

Oh what have you done?

That one meter iron rod

Shot out like a gun

And Lord knows you ducked your head

To get out of its way

But almost only counts

In horseshoes and hand grenades

Phineas

Oh Phineas

How are you still standing?

You’re a miracle of science

You defy understanding

Because Phineas my friend

You’ve got a great big hole in your head

Phineas looks around with a “what’s a matter” wrinkled brow

As his eyes dart around in his head

And his growing audience responds that the brain matter from your head

Is strewn about and I don’t know: you’re not dead

Workers and foreman shout for a physician

And while it seems unique for Phineas to be in such a position

It’s recommended that he take the rest of the day off on account

That his insides are outside and that alone seems like a lot to surmount

Phineas

Oh Phineas

Oh what have you done?

That one meter iron rod

Shot out like a gun

And Lord knows you ducked your head

To get out of its way

But almost only counts

In horseshoes and hand grenades

Oh Phineas

How are you still standing?

You’re a miracle of science

You defy understanding

Because Phineas my friend

You’ve got a great big hole in your head

WHO IS MIKE VITALE?

I am a storyteller, songwriter, singer, music producer, traveling musician, Jungian dream analyst, all-around curious fellow (Spiritual, Mathematical Historical, Scientific), Taoist, and much much more, based out of Los Angeles, California. I’m constantly releasing new music, in all sorts of different genres. You can listen to me below, on Spotify:

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I was listening to the TeamCoco podcast “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” a while back. Conan was discussing this rather curious and unfortunate accident that happened to a railroad demolition Forman in the 1800’s with his guest that day, Bill Hader.

This injury, the topic of their conversation, happened to a young man who dealt with explosives before nitroglycerin and dynamite had become a staple of demolition work. Dynamite was patented in 1867 and this accident occurred nearly twenty years before Nobel introduced such a device.

For anyone who knows me, the quickest way to get my head cupped in my hands, is to tell me a good story, and this one—it’s a doozy…

This work related accident happened on September 13th, 1848. It involves a young man accidentally shooting himself in the head. For all intent and purposes, this was not a trivial injury that occurred. Phineas shot a tamping rod through his cheek and it exited the top of his skull. This rod was made of iron, one meter long, and quite robust in diameter (1.25 inches). It is with absolute astonishment that he not only survived the injury (for an additional 12 years), but within minutes of the accident, was once again standing by his own accord and was cognitive.

By some reports, he insisted on continuing to work as well, but was ultimately sent home due to the overwhelmingly obvious severity of his injury. If I were to provide any more detail, it would only become… well, yucky.

What can be said, to this day: his injury is taught to students in the medical field. Gage is a fixture in the curricula of neurology, psychology, and neuroscience, one of "the great medical curiosities of all time" and "a living part of the medical folklore”.

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