Running Away From Home
Just imagine this in giant yellow letters, scrolling over a backdrop of stars… in a galaxy far far away…
I would never lie to you. Well, maybe sometimes—but not this time. This is absolutely true.
I ran away from home in second grade because I wanted to be a werewolf after watching the movie Teen Wolf with Michael J. Fox three thousand times.
I wanted to be a runaway werewolf, sort of.
I went to book bus at my elementary school, to do research. I’m a researcher—when I wanna be a werewolf.
I found this Scholastic Magazine that said if I drank the water from a wolves footprint… it would turn me into a werewolf.
I tried a dog’s muddy footprint first and waited for the full moon.
It didn’t work.
So, I had no recourse but to find a pack of wolves—and I didn’t want to go alone, so I took my best friend, Brandon Kite along with me.
I packed a backpack full of a blanket, some bananas, lunch meat, a loaf of bread, and some mustard.
This is the tale of our journey. All events are true—to the best of my recollection (whatever that means).
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